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i was so distracted yesterday that i parked my bike outside of the wisco and proceeded inside without even locking it up. :/
the roommates are all about to head across the street for some greasy breakfastfoodnoms and then we're going to go bike shopping for matt.
also, my poppy tattoo is almost completely healed... there are a few big scabs that i'm trying really hard not to pick at. this friday, i'll be getting the water lily on my right side.
also too! the ipad is awesome.
just this weekend, the gravity of the changes in my life hit me. the last two days have been moderately debilitating in that i just couldn't summon the gumption to do a damn thing. my house is in shambles and the second roommate is moving in as i type. the dogs are visibly stressed about all the change... i've dropped at least 20 pounds since the beginning of the year (mind you, this is not entirely upsetting).
it feels like the same "crisis of faith" feeling i had when i started this whole process of separation. i think my biggest fear is that i forgot how to be alone. not physically or emotionally, but responsibly. things were less daunting and huge the last time i was solely responsible for myself and my well-being.
no one in the world can pick me up; that energy has to originate from inside. i'm lucky to have been able to change the type of people around me so generating that energy isn't so god damn hard.
i just explained, in fairly specific detail, the events of my life recently to a coworker, and it occurs to me that i may be in my current situation because i have years of complacency to make up for.
i'm considering the possibility of further change that, just maybe, will be added to the list of the best decisions i've made in my life; and they'll all have happened in 2010.
i will not get my hopes up or hold my breath. but i will feel a little giddy for a moment.
zomg.
this morning, i remembered a work dream that involved me yelling at a coworker.
when i sat down in my cube, the mairzy doats song came into my head and i recalled how annoying it was to a certain someone when i would sing it.
i also wish they'd release twisted metal and super metroid for the iphone.
that is all.
this weekend marked the end of a near 10-year drought involving tattoos:
i go back on the 4th to get a water lily on my right rib. i'm kinda glad he had to reschedule cuz i wouldn't be able to sleep on either side if we'd done them both at the same time.
also, we successfully moved all belongings of one roommate into the house. i have to move my clothes and things from upstairs (i even gave away a whole big apple bag of clothes to vinny's!). the bed frame will be dis- and reassembled on friday.
we were able to freegive the dining room table and chairs in less than a day by setting them on the lawn. this allowed for the relocation of my desk:
so now i have a desk and a drafting table to move into the basement in order to clean the floor. then we need to disassemble the bed frame in order to move it downstairs.
this will give us some semblance of order before julie moves in and we have 22 feet in the house.
:x
had a long weekend drive up north to see a friends' family and celebrate a retirement. we went through the exact center of the state.
we also discovered that marshfield has some pretty strong feelings about some things:
i also received the ipad and case on friday but with my house and life in a bit of a chaotic state, i haven't had a whole lot of time together with it. i carry it around and sing to it, but we haven't bonded yet.
i've also been extremely lax in working on my braille certification. you see, i've become highly distracted and have very little energy to focus on that goal. i do, however, intend to fix my errors from lesson 7 and work on lesson 8 by the middle of june.
i should be fully decked out with the magical, revolutionary ipad by monday. right now, the case is in anchorage and the ipad is in memphis but they both came from china.
also, murder by death was awesome; we all had a really good time. one of the opening bands, linfinity was really good, too. they looked like they were having the best time in the world on stage and it made me smile.
the basement is (almost) fully cleared out, ready for some mold-resistant paint and furnishings. next week is going to be jam packed with rearranging and moving stuff around.
also, these guys were chilling in the creek yesterday.
i had a pretty good weekend... it started with a last-minute visit to the crack doctor. i have a knot in my back/neck the size of texas and it's not getting a whole lot better...
then, i had a tattoo consult. you'll get to see pictures, i'm sure. that was followed by girls night out + aaron + matt. most everyone but matt and i left before the music got *really* good (when will they learn?) but even we only made it til shortly after midnight. i was a sore cookie the next day.
saturday was spent rearranging the living space to accommodate my new life change... and saturday night brought with it my favorite madison band, el valiente. the opening bands (vampire hands and daughter of the sun) were pretty good, too.
sunday, i had breakfast with mom and george. then proceeded to throw together a suitable garden. i planted pepperoncinis, cucumbers, radishes, tomatoes, and basil. i also finally got the snow in the summer situated atop a stump in the front yard. hopefully it'll get enough sun.
i didn't mow the lawn, tho... and since i'll be out of town this coming weekend, it's going to be quite a bear to deal with when i finally can. i might have to mow after work some day this week :/
my ipad is still "prepared for shipping". i had hoped it wouldn't arrive on wednesday (i had it shipped to work and i won't be here that day), but i'm betting i could sweet talk a coworker to bring it closer to the east side if it does.
k... that's enough out of me for now.
i was struck and amazed by the fact that in october, i will have been blogging for eight years.
i hate it when the cafe at work has *nothing even remotely* vegetarian. at least no one suggested i buy the roast beef sandwich and take the roast beef off.
since i often rely on my blog for documentation, this entry is to record facts and feelings that i have otherwise left out of cyberspace because it's really no one's business but mine.
i'm pretty sure all three people who read this blog already know what's been going on, and the other two whom i don't know personally will find out that i filed for divorce on april 30 and kurt moved out on may 1. i have two roommates moving in this month, matt and julie.
i am keeping the house, just as soon as i visit a complimentary attorney for 30 minutes (through work's employee assistance program) to make sure i don't eff anything up in the process. then i have to get the deed in my name, refinance and become solely indebted for a very large sum of money for the next 30 years. tell me that's not fecking daunting?
work has also been moderately stressful. we have a *giant* project launching in july; a small part of which i've been working on since september of last year. it's part of the reason i have a pinched nerve.
so, because of all of this, i've treated myself to an ipad and a tattoo, neither of which are yet in my possession but will be soon.
for those of you who know me personally, i'm now alone in my house and there's a huge amount of peace at this moment. the house is a dusty, disheveled mess, but i'm ok with it.
there is quite a bit of rearranging to be done, but i have to work late most of this week, so it won't happen til this weekend at the earliest.
i am, however, struggling with a pinched nerve in my back/neck that's causing my left thumb to tingle... i store 95% of my stress in my shoulders, the rest is in my stomach.
except, that fact isn't really bothering me right now either.
*cheers*