litterbug
on the way to work this morning, in the middle of the road, there was a takeout box, a can of soda rolling around, and a napkin.
i thought, "someone lost their lunch!" and then i chuckled.
September 8, 2010
September 1, 2010
unbless you
some time ago, i decided not to say "bless you" when someone sneezes; i'm not religious, and i don't like presuming others' faith.
there are a lot of sneezes where i work (i think it has to do with the air quality), and when i hear a coworker sneeze...
note: it is impossible to keep ones eyes open during a sneeze.
they get my usual response:
the coworkers expect this kind of behavior from me. sometimes i get a response like, "who run barter town?"
it only gets awkward when i accidentally exclaim this somewhere out in public and the person doesn't know me and my unusual ways.
August 30, 2010
the currency of office morale
companies try to do things to make their employees at least moderately pleased with coming to work for 40 hours a week. sometimes they offer free bagels, or celebrate a large project with a little continental breakfast get-together, even having a company picnic after which you're allowed to knock off early. the one that gets me tho is as follows:
you get that little "new email notification" while in the middle of something important.
and it's a pdf from the hr department with some reasonably incongruous graphic next to the content (which, for all intents and purposes, should be removed, and the text of the pdf should be simply emailed so i don't have to launch another application just to read the email).
we joke about this as "jeans currency"; what the company thinks happens immediately following the receipt of the email is this:
what actually occurs:
August 27, 2010
free stuff!
last week, i brought lunch cuz i'm a little cash-poor right now. a pita (actually, naan if you're keeping track) spread with hummus, topped with cucumber from my garden, and sprinkled with feta.
(un)fortunately for me, the garden is producing cukes bigger than a house cat.
there was no way i could finish the whole thing. so, since people are always leaving stuff for free in the breakroom, i thought i'd do the same.
incidentally, no one took it.
August 26, 2010
yay, netflix!
imagine my excitement when i found out this morning that netflix finally released their app for the iphone.
i was also quite pleased when i saw that arrested development is available for instant viewing!!1
unfortunately, i work in an cube farm that was converted from a pole barn and i can barely get the edge network inside, let alone 3g.
unless i stand on one leg and balance with my iphone up in the air; then i can listen to ron howard for hours and hours.
August 24, 2010
noodlebutt
nora noodlebutt is a little skittish; we've no way of knowing how she was treated before we rescued her, but i'm willing to bet it was pretty awful. she hates the sound of nail guns and truck engine brakes and pretty much anything loud anywhere near her.
when i get home from work, though, she's the happiest dog ever.
she's very needy and a little meek. she's always trying to horn in on any attention being given to jones. so sometimes i'll slowly start to try to hug her and she, subsequently, slowly slinks away from me. we do this often.
August 19, 2010
pheromones, maybe?
there was something weird in the air at the tavern last night... for a while, i was the only gal at the bar among several males. it felt kind of like i was placed into an experiment. over the course of the evening, while waiting for matt to finish his shift, i had several acquaintances grace me with their presence.
first was micah. he's a very nice guy who uses only his bike for transportation. we share a taste in electronic music and he usually passes album titles and artists my way. last night, he had his ipod with him and wanted me to check out some beats.
then, angry tom wanted me to teach him everything i know about iphones, cellular service providers, the internet, craigslist*, and the kansas-nebraska act.
we call him angry tom because he gets quite adamant when in discussions... even if he agrees with you. he also appears to own 10 or more of those shirts.
tom left after i told him i wouldn't read the kansas-nebraska act to him and i also wasn't going to let him hold my phone.
then casey showed up. i've known casey for several years; he used to cut my friend kelli's hair about 10 years ago. he's got what i call a *big* personality which is great in small doses. anyway, he called me sugar, ordered two beers and a shot for myself and him.
more and more people petered in, including a wilson's regular, loud karl! we were happy to see him at our bar and he slid over to chat. he told a story about a girl he had was seeing forever ago who took a crowbar to his nice diesel mercedes...
finally, matt's shift was complete, and there was actually an empty stool next to yours truly.
*one bit of hilarity that i didn't want to ruin the comic with: tom's wife told him that there weren't jobs on craigslist. that people just use it to sell and trade stuff... even sometimes sex!
August 16, 2010
2 thousand steps
in order to stop staring at a monitor for 20 minutes a day, and get our lipase working, a coworker and i take a walk around the office, twice a day, that total 2,000 steps. i call the events 1k and 2k... most people get it.
when the weather permits, we "take it outside" as an added bonus. on humid occasions, i usually make a comment of how it affects my hair; or i'll point out how my browns don't match.
on the way back to our desks, we stop in the breakroom and joke that we need to see how our day is going by checking the horoscopes. so i find the closest paper which usually has some article about a badger fan and how the terrace is stupid and falling into the lake.
and then page through to the "fun" part of the paper to check out the aries and virgo (and gemini, for other reasons) number predictions; i never read the text... that part is irrelevant:
let me know if you can't guess our signs.
August 12, 2010
habitually routine
i have a weird relationship with food, which we may or may not discuss later. part of the issue is that when my blood sugar is low, i can get extremely agitated and irritate those around me:
as a result, i have a food schedule during the work day. so as soon as my morning coffee is finished
i eat my 9:30 yogurt with my reusable spoon which allows me to think i'm saving the world by not using a plastic one.
then around 10, i have a banana cuz i've convinced myself that it defends me against mosquitoes (a myth!) and the potassium helps muscle aches.
after that, at about 10:30, i have a bag of baby carrots for improved optical performance (and they're tasty and good for you anyway).
at 11:30, i hop on over to subway where i barely have to say anything about the meal (but i am cordial and ask the workers how they are) and they make my veggie sub on wheat with pepperjack, toasted. everything except green peppers and jalapenos.
then the afternoon serves up a granola bar and an apple.
when all of these things happen at the appropriate times, it results in a pleased bekee.
August 11, 2010
a little adjustment
my numberonefan had some comments in regards to his debut into a web comic and asked that i make some modifications. he (and his bike) are much taller than me (and my bike). he also has hair; a lot of it.
August 10, 2010
friday in pictures
barely acceptable as far as effort is concerned, but i wanted to post something
closing:
tooling about:
oontz oontz:
August 6, 2010
not a four-way
there is one, final intersection on eagle drive before i can pull into my work parking lot.
it is clearly not marked a four-way stop, but people tend to disregard this more often than not.
this morning, i got to test my brakes because i knew the ahole in the big black truck was going to display a blatant disregard for traffic safety laws. resulting in the following:
August 5, 2010
peacock-colored glasses
i have a thing for birds; they fascinate me. today, at work, there were some cranes having a snack out in the yard, so i snapped a picture.
while doing so, i overheard a conversation at the table closest to me.
i wonder if this is what he saw:
August 4, 2010
awkward
my tact filter wasn't employed yesterday when the following took place.
we have automatic faucets in the sinks at work, this is totally irrelevant to the story, but i wanted to draw the sinks to set the scene in the bathroom.
as i came out of the stall and headed toward the sinks, a fellow co-worker said hi and proceeded to make conversation.
i immediately got a little sheepish... i'm learning how to take compliments, but it's been a slow growing process. i also don't really like attention paid to my person for the most part, but i'm trying to get over that as well.
this is where my tact-o-meter failed. miserably.
i tried desperately to save the situation.
to no avail...
we then left the bathroom at the same time... awkwardly.
August 3, 2010
*sadface*
sometimes people at work come up with a gem of a phrase. this one made me die a little:
unapproved transaction
i've been meaning to close my checking account with associated bank for at least 3 months now, but just never got to a branch to do so. it's been sitting dormant with a little over $3 since may.
i got home last thursday to find what looked familiarly like an overdraft notice from them. knowing that i hadn't used my check card and had shredded all checks, i was immediately flummoxed. i opened it to find that someone had spent $426.22 at goprocamera.com. great.
p.s. i know the math is wrong; that makes it funnier.
i called and they had to send an affidavit for me to sign in order for their dispute department to consider whether or not i really didn't buy a helmet camera (?).
what irritates me most about this is, if this were still my primary account, and i had funds in it, i'd be sitting in the red for $460 (cuz of the overdraft charge, of course) until someone at the bank decides whether or not i'm responsible.
thankfully, i'm currently only out $3 and can still, you know, eat and fill my gas tank.
July 29, 2010
sometimes
after a meeting at work, i feel the need to illustrate what just happened.
the meeting started at 1, which is almost right after lunch...
i was in the front row, mildly excited to hear the business news... you know, the stuff that ensures i probably won't be laid off any time soon.
the meeting kept going for some time.
my enthusiasm dwindled.
