*sadface*
sometimes people at work come up with a gem of a phrase. this one made me die a little:

sometimes people at work come up with a gem of a phrase. this one made me die a little:

i hate it when the cafe at work has *nothing even remotely* vegetarian. at least no one suggested i buy the roast beef sandwich and take the roast beef off.
since i often rely on my blog for documentation, this entry is to record facts and feelings that i have otherwise left out of cyberspace because it's really no one's business but mine.
i'm pretty sure all three people who read this blog already know what's been going on, and the other two whom i don't know personally will find out that i filed for divorce on april 30 and kurt moved out on may 1. i have two roommates moving in this month, matt and julie.
i am keeping the house, just as soon as i visit a complimentary attorney for 30 minutes (through work's employee assistance program) to make sure i don't eff anything up in the process. then i have to get the deed in my name, refinance and become solely indebted for a very large sum of money for the next 30 years. tell me that's not fecking daunting?
work has also been moderately stressful. we have a *giant* project launching in july; a small part of which i've been working on since september of last year. it's part of the reason i have a pinched nerve.
so, because of all of this, i've treated myself to an ipad and a tattoo, neither of which are yet in my possession but will be soon.
to explain to people what i do for a living, especially if they don't work on the internets or in design.
i used to rattle off a car dashboard/cell phone comparison, "it has to be usable, i make websites usable just like someone made that steering wheel control the radio volume or the end call button red instead of green." the explanation got too long; people's eyes would glaze over.
i've recently converted my short description to, "i tell other people how to design". which is not really true either. i work with teams on projects where we all have input and i get to help guide us in the direction of the correct solution; along with everyone else.
in addition to the video below, i still get to code a little (html/css) and i've started teaching myself jquery to, you know, increase my knowledge base, or whatever people say. i also write, conduct, and analyze usability tests with real live users.
i follow a lot of ux'rs on twitter, and one of them came up with a video that makes half of what i do seem magical (audio nsfw if you work for a high-strung corporation and don't have headphones--you'll get the idea without them):
i'd been biking most evenings after work up until tuesday... my tires just aren't knobby enough to get through all this snow, and new tires are too expensive since i'm not a commuter.
speaking of commuting, it's been taking me 1-2 hours to get to work and back since the snow fell; at least it's stayed in the realm of comical.
it went by awfully quickly.
i submitted lesson 5 on saturday... i proofed it; wondering how many times i would have to read the sign for which to remember it.
apple bought lala, so they no longer offer cd trading; which means my 150+ want list will either never be fulfilled, or i'll have to start using swaptree; which is a weird model because it's most commonly a one-to-one trade.
also, the next two weeks at work are going to be pretty crappy. i likely won't get home til 7 tonight and tomorrow night; unless we cancel tomorrow's usability testers on account of the weather.
sorry i've been so mute. life's been quite distracting lately.
i handed in lesson 2 yesterday for my braille certification. hopefully she'll be able to turn it around quickly as i've read lesson 3 several times already.
work has been ok. two huge projects launched in the last 15 days and we've started work on one for next year.
here's me and the dogs trespassing in garver field:
a while ago, a coworker was reading winnie the pooh with his daughter, and noted the striking resemblance of the characters to people at work; and how we interact with each others personalities.
needless to say, it's not even 9 on a monday morning, and i'm already annoyed by rabbit.
or maybe i have a case of the mondays.
it's on the fedex vehicle, out for delivery. i hope he knocks loud enough to wake up kurt. i hope the transition will be smooth from one phone to the other. then to pack up iphone 1.0 for mom.
update: kurt did not wake up. they will attempt to redeliver tomorrow. i am not happy.
also, this week has zoomed by, thanks to six usability tests. and i've been sleeping a lot more soundly with the air conditioner installed.
we're looking in to getting central air, tho. we've gotten soft in our old age.
i seem to facebook more than blog any more, it's just easier with the iphone and what not... so i apologize to those of you who are one of my fb friends and still bother to read this, but i'm really excited. i just bought this shirt from the most hilarious episode of the office:
in other news, i still haven't heard a resolution from the insurance company from the accident that happened over a year go which resulted in renewing my faith in chiropractic treatment... if i can get a decent settlement, i could afford to go see the dr. on my own dime for a while (his particular office isn't covered by my health insurance; what a bunch of crap).
also, at work, we're having our annual silent auction to benefit the united way and i think i out bid too many people on a couple of high-ticket items. the auction ends at 5 today, so i'm hoping there are some dog lovers among us that want one of the two "doggy baskets" that i've bid on. :x
my inbox wasn't too bad since i cleaned it up a couple times during my illness.. but i still feel weird having missed two days. it was everything i could do to roll out of bed this morning... even if i would have felt ok about staying home again, i think i would have gone stir crazy by noon.
at least the weekend is only three days away.
for the first time in my career here, i am expected to be in more than one place at one time. the overlap is at 2:30.
since i am not a superhero, i'll let you know how it turns out.

one more work-day and i'm off for a long weekend. i'm excited to spend time away from four-legged creatures; we've been dog sitting since the 24th and i need a break.
in case you're on the edge of your seats, there are still no charges from the company claiming to change everyone's lives.
also, i had an impromptu presentation yesterday morning to our director and i didn't freak out in panic. that was nice.
oh, and burrito drive has been out of fish since sunday. wtf? it's lent!
i've been fairly blah lately. not feeling all that creative (knitting), or motivated to create well-crafted work-related documents (annotated wireframes, use-case flows, ui design), or wanting to do anything around the house (paint the bathroom, kitchen).
i think we need to get out of dodge for a weekend.
apparently, i have one of the 30 best careers for 2009. let's hope that's true.
time to hunker down. lots of wireframes to create, usability tests to conduct, interactions to design. and of course, the annual self-evaluation which directly contributes to the % of raise we are eligible for.
i had to do some rejiggering of my vacation time in order not to lose any of it, which left me with the random amount of 4.25; a half day. so i chose to take a half day today and all of tomorrow off.
i really wanted to sleep in today.
my mood generally goes from ennui to elation between monday and thursday. friday is just a throw-away day at work since we're only here for five hours. but, i took the day off tomorrow so i wouldn't have to participate in the forced fun of halloween.
i'm looking forward to the long weekend. but not to daylight savings. :/
i'm starting to get involved in several high-profile projects at work. those projects incur lots of meetings covering a myriad of topics... thusly, i lose time for myself (read: lunch). i just blocked off my lunch hour from today to the end of the year in an attempt to claim time. betcha $2 it won't work 50% of the time.
p.s., i have a tiny dentscratch in my phone and i don't know how it got there. :/
has positively dragged by.
on a lighter note: i'm halfway to netflixing teen wolf and teen wolf too. i think it's hilarious that you have to rent them together.
we're participating in forced volunteerism, being reduced to four letters, and having a pizza lunch in order to "team build". so i won't be at my desk today.
apparently, i've switched to an ISTJ in the last three years.
i've just removed 90% of my personal effects from my cubicle. i'll give the boss 3 weeks before he notices.
i didn't do i for that, though. i did it cuz i'm bored of all the silly little trinkets and knitted items and orange bits that i've been staring at for 7+ years. ok, maybe a little to see who notices.
i fergot to tell you guys... this apathy thing may just be paying off. i gave a presentation to some people from outside the company (a vendor) yesterday, and it went without a hitch. i wasn't the least bit nervous or anxious.
always finds the silver lining,
b
a friend of mine said he's sick of reading my depressing posts about work... i think he's referring to the tweets on the sidebar over there cuz i don't usually blog about work unless i get permission, or if something good happens.
i will be very honest with you, reader, in an attempt to get it all off my chest at once: i hate work right now. i hate how long it takes me to get here, and how much gas i consume because of it. i hate the color of my cube walls. i hate the disorganization of bureaucratic bulljazz. i hate how it's taken over THREE months to change TWO words on the website because of "requirements" and "resources". i hate making wire frames for projects that are vaguely defined. i hate that i count down the minutes til 5pm and the days til friday. i hate that people say "circle back" and "at the end of the day" and "from a user experience perspective" and "we don't have the bandwidth" and "scrub the budget". and i hate a few other things that i can't say in the event that i may be dooced.
i also hate vendor meetings; one of which i have today.
one more thing, i just found this experience design manifesto and i think that it exemplifies what's missing from the attitudes in this organization.
for some reason today, i can hear every single conversation going on right now. it sounds as if the whole second floor is standing behind me, talking. i have hyper-hearing.
there are two things stopping me from taking the bus to work. one is the initial departure time, and the other is the one-minute layover between buses. kurt says i can tell the first bus driver to ask the second bus driver to not leave til i get there, but that seems narcissistic.
maybe, after i get my bike repaired tomorrow, i will use it to get downtown and then i don't have to worry about a transfer.
in other news: i'm as tired as rip van winkle today.
i just spilled nearly a large amount of coffee on my desk (it missed my phone by less than an inch). i wish my personal fan were here to cheer me on.
in other news: this is my ninth entry titled "bleh". i'll bet the other eight have been in the last year.
i find it difficult to describe what i do in a cube all day... i think this little chart sums it up enough for the average layperson.
randomly feeling on the verge of crying. work should not make a person feel this way.
sleep deprivation doesn't help either. i could not fall asleep last night. i think it was 5 before i didn't see the clock for an hour.
i was about to say it has been a while since a workstress dream. until last night.
it actually involved me (in the dream) yelling, "mother FUH!" and it woke me up, two minutes before the alarm would have.
my right, lower eye is twitching.
we have an ornery and tired bekee today. let's not discuss it.
workmates and i have invented a fictional personality to host a knitting show on the radio: "knitting with joy. hi, i'm joy, joy crammer." she hosts the show by simply knitting, only stopping to talk if she drops a stitch or if there's a phone call. the call isn't audible, since the handset isn't mic'd, and it's always her mom.
when she's knitting, all you can hear is a faint click, click, click... and sometimes a whistle from her nostril. if you're lucky, you'll be able to mentally observe her creating a center-pull ball for her next project.
another monday... everyone seems kinda down. no one's taking the group walk to the cafe, i've had my headphones on for the hour i've been here. i have a project due on friday and i don't want to do it.
i hate the royal we. especially when it could simply be replaced with, "i need you to do this for me." or "this needs to be done by yesterday, can you do it?"
apparently, it's also referred to as the "editorial we":
Mark Twain once said, "Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we'."
after a long weekend, i usually forget my keycard on the dining room table. this morning, it didn't even occur to me until i got to donna dr. at century ave; 5 minutes away from work.
luckily, spetharoonio got here at quarter to 4*, so he was able to run downstairs and let me in.
*not really, it's a running joke about certain people's arrival time and their commitment to work.
it's a three-day week. usually, this is welcome... but sometimes people still try to squeeze the equivalent of a 40-hour week in. i don't mean to say i'll work 40 hours anyway, more like there's reduced rest time during the three days we're here.
as i say to the co-workers, "heads down, boys!"
this whole week has had me really unmotivated.
coming back to work after 10 days off... it's kinda nice to see everyone again. we'll see how i feel in a couple days.
first, from a meeting perspective, i had to stand up for 15 minutes to discuss the process of a project in order to drive awareness and maintain visibility towards the end goal. then, the visibility to the cafĂŠ was announced and from a muffin, i had a great time.
afterwards, from a BiTwiConAppPersp, i updated the data file in order to continue the visibility to see the end of the project. also, from a bathroom standpoint, my goals were met.
our team as a whole touchbase meeting was extremely shareful and will continue to provide line of sight to KTLO and MMORPG projects within the business. this meeting will hopefully remove barriers and knock down obstacles toward self-improvement and career changes. afterwards, i went incognito in order to remove some of my own barriers and fill the void with some scrubbing.
my individual touch base was a series of information sharing, working toward spreading the knowledge from a user experience standpoint. the visibility to upcoming projects has created a need and it will be solved at some point after all those barriers are removed.
soon, i will discuss the changes to the usability test format which will involve driving awareness toward the building of our knowledgebase. afterwards, my needs will have been filled and i will go home, thankful that i was able to celebrate girls today.
*this documents the misspellings and improper language use that i get to weed through on a daily basis at work. it also represents how much i'm looking forward to my week off.
i think i'm safe; my boss doesn't read my blog.
so, i've just breezed past my official 5 year anniversary at work... 1.5 years at the beginning of my tenure didn't "count" because i chose to keep it temporary (more $/hour)... i've had my current position for a little over a year. and i kinda want to talk to the boss-man about dropping the "associate" from the beginning of my title (which essentially means asking for a promotion).
i have never done that before... i feel kinda weird about it; it seems like saying, "hey, it doesn't seem like you notice or appreciate me as much as i think you should. care to prove it?"
mattel made fortune's top 100 places to work list (number 77). so they're giving us next friday off in celebration.
it took me over 1.5 hours to get home last night. not commuting is the one factor that i would be willing to exchange current for new even if all other factors remained the same.
i also need a kind reader to let me know when the next home badger basketball game is so i can take the northern route home.
i've wanted to call in every day this week, but i haven't. mostly because it's a new year, and i never got quite sick enough, and things are going okay. but there's that underlying feeling that i wanted to, but didn't so they owe me something for my dedication. that's about the best i can explain it.
it's completely irrational anyway. i'm supposed to crawl out of bed and come to work and do my best and go home.
too bad kurt stopped playing the lottery when we bought the house.
the first day back after 11 days off hasn't been too awful. there has been quite a bit of cleaning up from the updated yesterday, and now i can get to reading through articles that i skipped for later over the break.
thank goodness friday is almost upon us.
the best boss in the whole world is leavin. it's okay. but it fucking sucks.
yea, i used the eff word. with reason and vigor.
all i can hope is that when his endeavor becomes successful, he'll think of me.
we have to do something to retain sanity... so we're trying a weekly event. someone just happened to have a camera today, so we could document it. evidence below:
oh, and my unofficial goal for this event is to have it company-wide in about a month and a half. the tie can also be worn as a belt or headband.
i need to get some more ties.
i've instituted a weekly activity at work. mutual appreciation monday. every week, i ask that everyone communicate in such a way that is positive, complimentary, and almost inappropriate.
much like deborah norville, and her awesome web presence. i only wish i had thought to put it in book form first. what a genius.
i'm home sick today, a little bit of malaise, and a little bit of nature-induced cramping (tmi, i know). and i've determined that it would be absolutely impossible for me to ever work from home on a regular basis. i'd have to rent space somewhere.
the dogs are jumping all over me, Kurt's laying on the couch watching the nfl channel and i'm still in my pjs. it's 10:30.
i just made my first catmeme. it's for someone at work.

the kitchen opens at mickey's in less than a week...
kurt asked if i wanted to be a runner (someone who delivers food to tables).
i'm thinking about it.
this is so silly... i got so furious at work today that i started crying in a meeting.
yah.
totally not like me, totally out of the blue, and totally weird. i just had so much rage and anger and frustration that i had to hold my eyes with my sleeves to keep from bawling.
you see, i heard something that wasn't said. i can't actually even tell you what was said immediately before i freaked out, but what i heard was, "someone thinks whoever did this can't do their job."
and i flipped. internally, i was raging. i had the strongest desire to punch, kick, cry, slam, and yell.
but what's weird is that it's not what was said, and quite possibly not even what was implied, but it's what i heard.
the most ridiculous part is that i don't know why it upset me. like, physically upset me in such a way that i couldn't make myself behave with a normal reaction. which, most likely would have been, "they don't know wtf they're talking about. eff them."
needless to say, i'm very glad that tomorrow is friday... i just wish i could shake the feeling of "if i quit, they'd be fucked."
and i don't swear on my blog unless it's necessary.
i forgot to mention that i even left work and drove to cross plains, smoking my first weekday cigarette before 5pm in almost two years. it was lovely, well-deserved, and necessary.
i'm about to crawl out of my skin. i don't think i can stay here til 5.
if everyone thanks god that it's friday with such vehemence, doesn't that indicate that something is wrong, and if something is that wrong, shouldn't it be fixed? or at least addressed?
work's been a little nutty lately. so, yesterday, we decided it was FULL BLARE day. everyone turned their phone ringers up, and talk just a little louder than normal. it was quite amusing.
we had a reorg last week. i didn't blog about it cuz the house stuff was on my mind. but, i'm now in a different department. so, i'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
normally, i wouldn't self-volunteer to bring work home, but this weekend was the perfect one to do so. i have a smallish project that's been hanging over my head for a while, and i was able to get it (mostly) done friday and today; with the help of the bedroom a.c. and my trusty laptop. this makes it possible for me to take a vacation day on the 16th to continue with house stuff.
thank goodness our friend Judy is gunna come help edge so we don't have to tape everything off. we're betting we can get the dining/livingroom done in a couple of days. then there's the upstairs bedrooms...
everyone is nutty at work this week. we have several days off next week for the holiday, and a handful of people will be supplementing the vacation with extra days so all is crazy around here.
who knew... 6 years ago, i was a couple weeks out of college, waiting to have my first day at my current employer. i held both the relay job and this one for about a week and a half while i worked out my two-week's notice. i was awfully tired.
i can't believe i'm still here.
this time of year, i wake up with the sunrise and all the birds chirping outside; at least until we put the window a/c's in and i can't hear a thing.
so, i'm walking into work this morning behind an unfamiliar woman (so i presume she thinks the same of me) and she buzzed herself in and strategically pulled the door shut behind her so i'd have to buzz myself in.
now, i understand the need for our security system... proprietary information is just that, but wtf would i be doing in the parking lot at 6:50am with my purse, coffee, and nalgene if not going to work?
what an amazing experience. without seeming cheesy, it really was. i even had to get over my anxiety about presenting to a room full of vp's and directors. i was nervous and could feel my heart beating in my throat, but i got over it cuz i had to.
the entire experience was so worth it. and even if it becomes some weird buzzword in the company, i understand its worth and appreciate the necessity when used well.
and kelli, you'd be perfect as a facilitator. :)
so, i've been having intermittent back problems since last november, when i bent over to toss the hairtrap into the bathtub drain and stood up to muscle spasms, the pain of which i had never experienced before in my life.
fast forward to a month ago, where every monday through thursday, some time between 1:30 and 4, my left arm and leg would start tingling. the only thing that seemed to relieve it was to stand up and walk around. it is/was not really painful, just really annoying. a quick google search narrowed down my ailment to one of three things: an aneurysm, fibromyalgia, or spinal misalignment/sciatica. i opted for the last one and went off to the chiropractor. it doesn't seem to be helping... but it does get me outta work 30 minutes early once a week.
since standing up is the quickest-acting remedy i've found, i asked the responsible parties at work to raise my desk; this was finished yesterday with positive results. it's at a height that i can stand or sit in a tall chair, without straining anything, and i'm happy to report that there was no tingling yesterday until i got into the car to come home. and that only lasted a couple seconds.
today is testing me.
though, i think this little guy will make my mood brighter:
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
so, i just realized i never officially announced getting the new position at work. i think i was waiting to tell mom at breakfast and we were interrupted by weather or something. anyway, i'm now officially an associate user experience designer. i didn't get a raise; or a bigger office. just more work and responsibility. isn't that how corporate america is supposed to be?
but... since the new role isn't that big of a stretch from what i've been doing for the last 5 years, i've had both jobs for the last couple weeks. everything was fine til the other front-end design technologist got called to jury duty. so i'm doing all three jobs for three days.
i know, it's only three days, but there's like 43 projects going on right now and i don't think people realize that i'm doing all of them.
my gut hurts. :(
so, things come in threes, right?
at the beginning of the month, i applied for a different position at work. one which will afford me the time (hopefully) to learn some skills that i really should have known to carry my current title, but was never afforded the opportunity to grasp; today i learned that i got the job. it's good news, really, but i'm kinda weird about praise (or compliments of any kind... not sure why; i'm working on it though), so it's actually hard for me to believe that i got it. matter of fact, it was taking so long for the bureaucratic part of it to get worked out that i had convinced myself that they were just waiting to figure out how to tell me that i didn't get it.
also, this morning, the company also learned that we are, in fact, getting bonuses this year. it's always been rumor that we won't, right up until the biggest lady in charge tells us that we are.
and, i finally saw a house on the internets that i want to go see. to you homeowners, this might seem like a silly thing to get giddy, excited, nervous, weirded out about... but to me, it's a strange, new adventure that hadn't even occurred to me until 6 months ago. so cut me some slack.
things are certainly turning up bekee, and i'm uneasy about it. it's the pessimistic optimist in me.
i was gunna put this in dreamy, but it's more about work. i had a work-stress dream last night that involved several work people. it had to do with too many emails, emails being deleted, questions staying unanswered, people not getting the information they needed, lots more meetings, bigger meetings with more people, circular table arrangements, commentary from people who shouldn't comment. needless to say, i didn't wake up very smiley.
i love checking this out when i really don't want to be at work:
http://www.soils.wisc.edu/asig/webcam.html. it helps for a little bit...
i get grumpy, ornery, and reflective about coming back to work. it usually takes a week to wear off before i cooperate at 100%.
this year is no exception.
sorry i haven't rapped at ya in any consistent manner... i've been awfully busy at work and have no desire to compute when i get home.. and i haven't thought of anything very interesting to share lately, either.
i am knitting a lot though, for the holidays, and a friend wants me to make a pink elephant for his neice, so that'll be a nice change. i haven't done stuffed animals yet.
we have to participate in halloween. we were told it was voluntary but it's not. we're spending a meeting this morning talking about it. some of us aren't happy.
as soon as i get 24 phrases, i'm going to make a lingo bingo card.
here are my favorite three from a meeting today:
"[we need to] raise the awareness up"
"...[just have to] give visibility to"
and my personal favorite (which conjurs up images to tasks that only take one full day to complete), "at the end of the day..."
to all you cubefarm workers... are there instances in which you might wish for a door on your cube in order to facilitate uninterrupted work? if not, are there people at your workplace that create an artificial barrier across their cube entrance (nichole:yellow police tape, for example)? some people here do that and i think it's a little weird.
i've been afflicted by ennui for a couple weeks now.. it's getting slightly worse each day. i'm not sure what to do about it.
i was in new york sitting at madame x's on houston watching kurt spent $8 for a shot of cuervo. right now.
a horrible pain in my left wrist woke me last night. the only thing i can think of that i did differently yesterday was lift and push around a bunch of chairs for a meeting. so i'm wearing my wrist brace from my relay days. i was hoping i'd never have to use it again, but instead, i might need to buy a right-handed one, too.
i have a knot in my shoulder that keeps migrating from one side to the other but won't go away.
also, on my drive home friday, my left hand started tingling.
and i had a panic attack during a meeting this morning and had to ask to be excused.
for the last few days (including last week), i've gotten a headache exactly at 4pm. today it's starting at ten past one.
not too long ago, toilet-seat cover dispensers were installed in the womens' restrooms at work. every time i hear someone use one, i wonder what they want to be protected from... and what they did for the 8 years previous.
there are about 800 people who are pregnant right now at work. i'm obviously exaggerating, but there are really at least 16. so, of course, people joke about "the water". i feel like they're all checking out my tummy to see if i'm showing; which i have NO reason to.
oh, we're not going camping this weekend. both kurt and i forgot that we're watching sam, so it'll be another dog-filled weekend. he's starting to come around to jones' presence. and he doesn't seem as pissed off at us for getting a dog. :)
the woman in the stall next to me used her foot to activate the flusher. i could tell because of the shoe-shift and shadow-change on the floor. i tried it. it was neat.
i'm practically crawling out of my skin right now. in less than an hour, i will be starting a 5-day weekend; and i don't have any projects to start on to keep me busy for the next 54 minutes.
i have a case of the mondays.
there's a slight vibe around the cubefarm. i don't think it's mercury, either.
yesterday i heard two references to throwing away clothes, that were inexpensively acquired, after their use was no longer. i wonder if they know about st. vinny's.
i was pretty zen at work yesterday. all the stuff i've been waiting impatiently for is starting to roll into my court; so i'll be happily, busily coding away soon. we'll see how long the zen lasts.
* i have closed comments on this post due to an overwhelming number of comment spams left for this entry.
there's someone @ work who appears to have been forced to drive their husband's rig* to work.. and hanging from the rear trailer hitch is an accoutrement i've never before seen. it's a pair of chrome-plated testicles.
co-workers' and my amazement went from shock to laughter. it's like seeing the wrong kind of bumper sticker at a partied office.
i'll probably have to censor this post later in life to get rid of seedy referral sites.
*anything that could crush my mazda on the road.
today is my official 3 year anniversary at work.
i say "official" because i was a full-time special projects employee for almost 2 years before they hired me... june 19th is my unofficial 5 year anniversary. which means i don't get another week of vacation until '08. oh well.
i don't like it when i'm the only one in a five-stall bathroom and someone comes in and uses the one right next to me.
i have the new years' grumps. this happened last year when we got back from vacation and my boss read my blog and had a meeting with me to make sure i wasn't going to quit.
here's the unfortunate part; i love what i do here, but right now i'm not doing much of anything, and i h8 being sedentary (at work). i can't stand having nothing to do, i don't like making up projects to work on because it's not conducive to productivity, i just want to code a website. that said, we have 100 new projects this year that will need my expertise. i just wish the people in charge would tell me what they expect me to do, and tell me when they expect it done.
it hasn't been too bad being back today.
t-4 hours until i don't have to set foot in middleton for 10 days.
something to look forward to, though, is that we'll be very busy when we get back.
on another note: i placed an order on amazon on wednesday and they still haven't charged me. i think they're ignoring my order because i didn't choose 2-day or next-day shipping.
it didn't go so well last night. you know the kind of nights where you fall asleep at 10:30, wake up at 1, fall asleep at 1:30, wake up at 3:17, fall asleep at 3:45, wake up at 5:18, happy that your alarm won't go off for another hour and then at 6:15, you snooze and then decide to reset the alarm for 7, forgoing any time for a shower? that's what i did last night. the worst part is that most of the sleep-time was taken up with work-stress dreams. i'll tell ya, the week-long holiday i'm about to have can't come soon enough.
i've stopped carpooling. i'll bet that sounds weird; kinda like, "i hate the earth and i will pollute more now!1"
we're doing a trial run to see if my panic attacks are caused by my feeling like i can't leave when i want.. if i needed or wanted to. even on the days that i drive, there would still have to be coordination around who's going to get him home. i think it boils down to me having very little patience. this is a fault of which i've known for several years but can't seem to shake it alltogether.
regardless, i haven't even felt slightly panicky at all this week; even if it's placebic*.
i just discussed this word-use with coworkers, and they wanted me to use "placeboesque" or "placebo-like" and i said no.
i was talking with a buddy of mine, bill, at the tavern this weekend about dreams in general and lucid dreaming in specific.. he had spent about 10 years studying ludic dreams and writing them down if they seemed to mean something.
anyhow, he's lent me a book to read on the subject. it should be interesting.
so, last night i had a work dream. which involved my boss' boss having to write up a business case in order for us to get one of those dorm fridge's up by our little area. funny.
kelly just won the felicity & elizabeth dolls at a work drawing. and she gave me felicity because she already has her. omg.
this morning. i get to go rap with future grads of the matc art dept program (i forget what they're calling it nowadays). it's gunna be kinda weird walking into that big building again after 4.5 years* of being away.
*i did this once before, the semester after i graduated. it wasn't as strange then.
you may or may not be privvy to the office euphamisms that are used in this day and age, but one that is over-used at my place of work is "fire drill" when referring to an incident or error that needs to be attended to immediately if not sooner. well, in accordance with definition, workmate colin and i have started to refer to these instances as "fire alarms"; because that's what they are.
we are like the rhinos* of the web.
*rhinos are natures fireman.
the uw e-business consortium meeting was really fun. it was a bunch of web coders, developers, designers, and marketers. we geeked out for a little bit talking about this site, which was the most fun. i hope they have additional, relevant meetings that i can go to.
i don't have to go to the office today, because i'm going to a uw e-business consortium seminar on leaner code. it's practically all day and i'm biking there (to the engineering sector), so there didn't seem a point to going all the way to middleton. i hope i learn lots of new stuff.
there's an empty glass bottle on the counter in the bathroom with a handwritten note on it that says,
please take care of your own trash. your mother doesn't work here.
i've had to eat al desko two days in a row now.
of work until i enjoy myself a five-day weekend! kurt and i might drive down to his hometown on sunday to see the sights, in mount carroll, il.
work's a teensy bit slow today.. i'm having a hard time looking busy or finding motivation to do anything. i've been busting my ass for 3 weeks and have to sit on my hands right before every update.
i do the lip smack. Slacker Manager: The unspoken language of...
i haven't rapped about the workplace cafe in a while; this is something that occurred to me on the way in to work this a.m because i thought i might want some scrambled eggs. the cafe workers have a weird way about "substituting" what you actually wanted for something else in their menagerie*.
here's what happened a couple weeks ago: i went over there, and they had these weird sausagecheesebiscuit things, and as you know, faithful reader, i don't eats the meats.
anyhow, i asked if they had any "without meat" and was handed a piece of sausage. "no no no, i don't eat meat, do you have any with just eggs and cheese?" the woman didn't understand me. so another worker said, "we have hard boiled eggs!" i said okay. "and a cold biscuit!" i said i'd just take the egg. it was $0.60.
*thanks carol!
work's been keeping me busy this week; what with being out sick 2.5 days last week. i finished bob's bittens and the two hats. of course, i forgot to take a pic of the stellar embroidery job that i did on bob's bittens; but i'll get the hats before they go off to their owners. now i'm working on a pair for jill. i had to tink some last night cuz i wasn't paying attention (was watching ocean's eleven - this century's version) and trying to do a tiny bit of fair isle (which i'll be foregoing once i get back to that row).
i didn't mean to make it sound as though i don't like my job. it was just hard to come back after almost a week and a half off. this year promises to be about as busy as last, so i'll have plenty to occupy my time.
aside from turning my alarm off (instead of snoozing), it's not been that terrible to be back at work. though, i did a bit of soul-searching while on vacation, and it seems to me that i need to either accept the drone-like state of my current employment, or move on to something i can be truly passionate about. of course, i won't be leaving any time soon.
the only delivery sushi in town has closed. it makes me sad. but it will certainly curtail the frivilous spending that i do every other friday night.
oh, and i can't seem to get all day brekkie to load on my mac at work, but you should check it out if you can.
p.s. thanks, jinjin. i know you'd notice. :)
no smokey at work. i didn't expect anyone to notice, but i wish someone would. apparently we're doing well, saleswise. the dept had to head over to the guest prepping area to re-clothe dolls for new heads. i knew i'd have a panic attack as soon as i got down there. and i did. it went away, cuz i worked through it. i didn't know if it would really or not. i wonder if i'll have another one if i do this again tomorrow.
i forgot to tell you that i'll be off work starting around 4:30 until next monday. i hope my order from webs comes soon so i can work on the 6 pairs of bittens that people want.
i'm feisty today. i need to watch what i email so's it doesn't come back to bite me. i am also cursing people outloud where they might hear me. i will not do that anymore, too.
today was our offsite breakfast celebration with the amazing group of people with which i get to work! we went to the original pancake house and all had an excellent time. my spinach crepe was superb. yum. but now i'm sleepy, and have little to do today.
monday's kinda stink around here.. i've gotten a lot of work done today, but it has still been a seemingly lengthy day. maybe it's because of my interrupted sleep. :/
i am so busy, but i have to attend this lame OSX training for 1.5 hours. which means i'll probably end up staying 1.5 hours late to get work done. :/ i also can't check my home email from work still because my web-based email checking company is messing everything up. moral of the story: computers are dumb today.
i gave the blanket to the dad of the recipient. he says she'll love it. :)
edit:// oh! i got to give the blanket to the little one myself. she applauded me after she felt the blanket.
and i worked too hard last week so that's why the blog looks so lame.
i got in at 6:30 this morning. the spiders that live in my side-view mirror were like, "wtf is the car doing moving about so early?" they were confused.
hmm. i had two entries disappear overnight? one was to say that my boss is awesome and gave me a raise. and the second one was to say that i don't have to go back to work til next wednesday.
i'm at work, and damn dreamweaver keeps crashing and now my computer froze and if i didn't have a pc in my cube as well, i'd be punching something.
i actually got it working from home! this means i, in fact, do /not/ have to drive all the way to middleton tomorrow. huzzah! omg nevermind. i can't copy files to my desktop to work on them; so this whole thing is useless.
decide if i should come in to work tomorrow, /or/ burn a CD of the things i need to work on and do it at home. or, jesse says, neither..
i'm kinda ornery and bored today.
there's a new gal at work whom i'm buddying up with to work on a huge project. she's fitting in great, and has even taken to joining our a.m. coffeetawks! which is good, cuz once we all move upstairs, we'll probably not be able to have them anymore.
:/ i just cleaned up some commentspam.. my mt-blacklist doesn't seem to be working anymore...
every morning (almost) we have coffeeclutch in someone's cube. this morning's conversation turned to favorite movies. so i'll attempt to bring our conversation into the int0rweb by coming up with my top 10* favorite** movies. Complete with linkage to the Internet Movie Database.
10. Shawshank Redemption
9. The Color Purple
8. Labrynth
7. The Neverending Story
6. The Princess Bride
5. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
4. The Office ok, it's not a movie, but it's worth being on this list.
3. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
2. Clue
1. The Breakfast Club
*these are really in no particular order. **edited because of mom's comment.
i thought if i'd work from home this weekend, i'd get more done. but, i couldn't get remote access because mattel doesn't support WinXP so i had to do this weird archaic thing and burn my files to cd, bring them home, and burn them before i go back to work. lame. anyhow, kurt just left for work, so i'm going to try not to get distracted by the internet and get some stuff done. oh, we just got back from bestbuy and i bought a new phone cuz kurt hates our current sony phone.
i got more done between 6 and 8 am than between 8 and 5. today i had to be rude to one of my good coworkers cuz i couldn't be bothered. i'm on a tightschedule; so tight, that got no space.
at 6a. one car in the parking lot; the housekeeper. i got rockstar parking.
i wasn't able to get anything done today because of the myriad of things that kept popping up. :/
working very hard today...
a workmate and i are trying to institute "breakdance tuesday" to make tuesdays more exciting. no one's taken the plunge to actually do it, but we sure like to talk about it.
today is the first day in a while that i'm actually really ornery about being at work. like, i am /mad/ about it, even. it's really strange. oh, to be an irresponsible person and just walk out.
my boss asked me yesterday if i was doing okay and she was worried about me. i think it's because i'm having a hard time holding in my cynical sarcasm (though, only in appropriate company does it come out). i think i've let myself turn into a cog. i should work on that.
since i've complained about work. but instead of going ahead with it, i'll stop myself because our little web team is just as stressed out as the rest of the company.
i've been working on a really cute, lace-ish scarf--more of a dress-up than a warm scarf. it's tricolored with some leftover silk/cotton from a hat that i got tired of. the ups guy tried to deliver my denise needles yesterday (i think that's what the package was), but kurt was in the shower and wasn't able to get the door. hopefully he'll be up when the delivery happens again today.
i'm already starting to feel grumpy about going back to work tomorrow. i've been off since xmas eve. i have gotten a crazy amount of knittin done. my stash has been turned into FOs that i should take to a consignment store over on e. johnson st. cuz no one wants to buy knitted things off of a website without touching it first.
i'm gunna play hooky tomorrow. according to my records, the last time i called in was october 1. i think it's time for a mental health day.
an awful lot of groaning going on here today. *edited to get waaay less work-specific.
kurt needs to win powerball, or we need to move somewhere where my skills are paid for appropriately and where i can grow and learn in an environment that knows it's purpose.
tooo busy at work. mom went into surgery at 11:45 and will probably be done by 1:45 so i'm leaving work around 2 to go to the hospital. therefore, i'm trying to get a buncha stuff done at work in order to make sure everything's taken care of. gah!
i'm really working very absently today.. like everything is second-nature and i don't have to think about it. though, i'm not mentally preoccupied with anything else, i just don't have the capacity to have to think today.
the day could go slower, i'd be 50 by the time it's over.
though not over yet, has gone exceptionally better than recent weeks. it could be that the two new people helping us out are men, therefore balancing the estrogen explosion that seems to happen every once in a while; or it could be that it's just because i've reserved myself to the fact that i can't make changes outside of my immediate surroundings. i'd like to think it's both.
i've decided, that since my job isn't really that terrible, i'm going to try to identify the smaller things that are irritating me and try to affect them in a positive and professional matter.
my old boss just told me about a design place that's hiring. *updating resume*
of much to say today.. except that I've gotten to do quite a bit of image clean-up and color correction today; even with a wacom, my arm hurts. maybe i'm getting old.. or maybe i shouldn't complain since i have both arms.
it was /really/ hard to come to work today.
i had a happy forgetful accident this morning. i thought it was tuesday when i walked in the door at work. imagine my sheer delight when i realized that it was wednesday.
today has been s l ooo o oo o www. not the work, but the time. i've gotten a h3ll of a lot done today, though. i can't wait til next week. i took off weds-fri to move, and even though i found out a couple weeks ago that for sure we'll get to start moving in on the 9th or so, i didn't reneg my vacation days. i need 'em. kurt and i are having swordfish steaks tonight.
I just updated my resume on Flipdog and Monster. It's too bad the economy is so crappy that employers aren't looking for me there. I think Kurt and I are going to have to find a new place to live soon. Boston?
a job at a different place. any takers?
there were only 12 hours in a day, because then a workweek would only be 22.5 hours.
mental health day.
yea, tried. not tired.
i didn't actually talk about my 8-5, i just mentioned it in reference to this image. omg i removed the image because it was lame.
i can't even take a 2 day vacation without coming back to 6,000 things that are "due right now". sometimes i wonder what would happen if i just said, "sorry. won't do it anymore. here's my 2 weeks." the problem with that is, the team of wonderful people with whom i work would be f*cked for a little while. they're not the problem here. the problem here is all the people that don't know anything about their own $80,000,000 a yr. website but expect miracles from a 7 person team. okay. that's quite enough about work. the vacation was really nice. it was nice to not have to get up, it was nice to gamble a bit. kurt took lots of pictures, so i'll have some to post, soon. since almost everyone on the boat was over 60, i got carded every single time we went on. the ferrets were pretty toasty when we got home, but they wouldn't stop playing since they'd been caged for 2 days. kurt's attempting to put the a/c in right now. we'll see how well that goes.
i no longer <3 my job.
you see, when today's work is done, i will have no doll factory responsibilities until may 28th.
this week at work has been almost impossibly busy. I've been in meetings and trainings and working with a new employee and my eyes hurt and my head hurts. I just want to knit!
Actually, I can't take any credit for it.. My friend-turned-back-to-cali from work referred to my lunch habits as "al desko". So, since she's now westward bound, I'm back to al desko lunching. It's not as depressing as most people would assume. I'm not saying that I really /enjoy/ it, but it beats sitting at a round table with the 8 people that you work with every single day; that's what everyone here does, you know. However, I'd /much/ rather work 2 blocks from the Weary Traveler and have their West of the Andes sandwich every single day of my life.. but, that's just me.
I was just noting to a co-worker that in the last 2 months, I've had more minutes in meetings than during the entire previous year. I'm used car shopping. It's kind of a drag because I don't know what's wrong with my current car; but I do know that I'm tired of it.
Oh, and I'm wearing a long, denim skirt today. I wish you could all see it because it's something that happens about as often as I wear swimsuits (once in the last 8 years).
Every once in a while, I get a rash of ex's and old friends trying to contact me. They usually come in threes, so I'll wait to report the rest. I guess that's a downfall of having the same phone number for my entire adult life.
(old image of cubicle gone) It'll still be there tomorrow. I wish I knew how to check my voicemail at work.
I've been putting off a mental health day since my boss is out on a photoshoot. It's always better if at least one of us is in the office. Unfortunately, she's out til April 23rd. :(
Everyone who works in an office should be thinking to themselves, "I wish we had a wireless network here at my great cubeland job." If you're not thinking that, there's something entirely wrong with you.
Whew! Today was probably /the/ most productive day I've had in a while. I got so much done and the time just flew by. I keep telling myself I should work for a newspaper. I wonder if Isthmus is hiring? ;)
*edited to avoid being 86'd*
it's almost as if my body is like, "well, now you got sick time! use it!" i am. the couch is all mine.
Too busy! This is so weird. Nothing at all has really changed in my actual responsibilities between being "temporary" and "permanent". Though, for some reason, now that I am permanent, I'm all busy and crap. It's like I magically inherited more respect and responsibility. Weird? Yes.
Some days I really like this place. The people, mostly, but this company also has good vision and quality product. Other days I wish I had the gumption to follow through with the 5year goal (which, incidentally, is scheduled to expire in a year). I think it'll turn, slowly, into an 8year goal. I need to get my feet wet here for a little while. Onward and upward.
I need to update my resumé. Sooner or later, this bureaucratic environment will get to me.
Being escorted to work by a great friend for the last three days has made this week just fly by! I mean, it's already Thursday fer chrissakes. And to top it all off, I actually woke up before the alarm, though slightly less-than-chipper. I can't wait until this week is over. :) Before being part of the daytime work crowd, I always wondered why people were so damn interested in the weekend. Most of my jobs have been Tue-Sun, or Weds-Mon, I've always had to work on the weekend and never had the affection that I do now for my days off. Maybe it's cuz I know I'll be doing it for a while and it's a bigger deal than a gets-me-through-college job. Maybe it's cuz I don't work 2-11 and can't sleep in. Maybe I just really like waking up at my leisure, sipping coffee while reading the morning news online; maybe that's why it seems that everyone else at work is slow to start and though they get to work at 8, they don't actually /get to work/ til 9. Wish me luck driving with my new clutch.
Well, I'm now a regular and permanent employee at the fabulous Pleasant Company. They even accepted my job description (almost as submitted) and allowed me to keep the job title (the hold-up was because no one in the organization is a "technologist"). So, you're lookin' at a bonafide Front-End Design Technologist. What this means to you: nothing; I may have to work late a couple more nights a week once a month, but whatever. What this means to me: my job has shifted slighty towards more design and less production. We are, however, hiring a "Special Projects Employee" (what I was until yesterday morning) to do some grunt work and help "around the house". I've also gained insurance, paid vacation, and a moderate paycut. What this also means to me is that I need to, again, boycott the cafe for monitary reasons and not just cuz the salad bar sucks 3 days out of 4. Congratulations will be had at the bar tonight. You know which bar. Oh, and my resolution is to limit outsourced content to Fridays. :)
Really though, I know I complain about being not-so-busy at work.. and it's really not /that/ bad, but when I am busy, the week just goes by so much faster and I'm just that much closer now to sitting on the couch Saturday morning with my knitting. That's all I want. Nothing extraordinary has taken place yet this week.. mom, you know what I'm talking about. My work café boycott isn't going so well.. I've gotten a salad a day for a couple weeks now. I think I'll be okay as long as I steer clear of the "specials".
At 5 to 5 last night, I learned that the job description that I wrote for myself at the end of last year is being rapidly pushed through to fruition. I had previous knowledge that it was being "worked on", which lead me to beleive that it would be another 5 months before I heard anything again. In the meantime, I tried to figure out what I'd say if they told me I could start at $13.65 an hour. Well, not really what I'd say, but exactly how I would say it. So, again, rewind to 4:55p yesterday: They're deliberating whether or not to make my position salaried, since my skills and tasks cover a huge range. I'm kinda nervous though, I don't know if my boss feels like that would be a good idea... I think I need to update my resume, anyhow.
You've probably read it already, but I hadn't. Here's what some people have to say about blogs. Just got back from a nummy breakfast at Monty's with T. I will say that Lazy Jane's does a better spinch feta omelette. I really enjoy how he and I can't stop talking. It's good to know someone's listening between glares at the screaming baby in the next booth. :)
It's really not just me being a brat. The café has no idea how to appease the vegetarian masses. I know I'm not the only one, either. The best part about their "lunch menu" is that they indicate Weight Watchers points with each day's meal description. If you've ever known anyone to try Weight Watchers, you learn that each day is allotted 20-25 points depending on your goal weight; well each of the café's lunches are between 20 and 25 points! Why bother? I'm also disappointed in their near-refusal to make me a fresh sandwich. Their problem solving skills include making 20 turkey and swiss and one veggie sandwich in the morning and putting them in the cooler. If I wanted a sandwich that was made this morning and put in a cooler, I would have brought my own sandwich. Needless to say, today I'll be having rice pilaf.
Normally, I hate it when people are like, "it's so cold out! i can't wait til summer." and then when August comes around and it's like 150 degrees with humidity, they're like, "i wish it was January!". I'm fcking cold. Not just toes and fingers, but cold to the core. It takes me a while to heat up after being outside. Matter of fact, I don't think I ever actually get warm at work. The heat is on some sort of timer that drops 10 degrees right after lunchtime. Anyhow. I'm busy today.
If you're close enough to me, you might have noticed my complaining as of late. I sit around at work for a while, waiting for stuff to do, and then all of a sudden I get super busy. This procedure and happenstance doesn't bother me until I am no longer busy. I love being busy! I should work at a daily publication. I hate sitting around for more than 30 minutes wasting everyone's time. Today, I am busy.
So today is my first day back since I left the office on the 19th of December. I must say it's only half as much of a relief as I thought it would be. I also didn't wear at my companion nearly as much as I thought I would; that's a good thing. The new year was rung in with new friends and old. It was a nice mix of conversation and quiet. Too bad I only remember the first part of the evening. :) Here you go, b o b (and anyone else), MASH.
Except today was our xmas xchg at work. The idea here is we draw names, make a gift for under $10 or buy a gift for over $25 (!). Obviously it can become a little hectic for some, say, who don't have a ton of money, and aren't very creative. It all works out in the end though. I was going to take a picture of my gift, but I didn't get around to it in time. I'll have one from the department photographer by Monday, I'm sure.
by a friend at work. He says that I have OCD. I think he's right.
It's a short week this week. I have Thursday and Friday off. Friday, not because of Thanksgiving, but because no one else is going to be here which would help me not get anything done if I were to show up. So, I'm boycotting the cafe here at work. They're terribly inefficient and thoughtless when it comes to vegetarians. I'll bet you $2 that they use chicken broth in the damn tomato soup. Anyhow, I've made it a week and two days without even setting foot in the cafe. This brings me to a site that I just found. Vegweb.com, I was looking for something quick to make and heat up for lunch. I'm kinda getting tired of cucumber and cheese sandwiches. So, this is what I found. I think I'll be trying that tomorrow!
I've been very unfaithful to my dedicated readers. The problem is that I'm actually busy at work for now and I don't have time to find cool sites for you to look at or funny things to say. Though, someone at work clued me onto this one which is entertaining for about ten minutes.
I used to never stay home from work, unless I couldn't move. It's nice to be able to stay home when it feels like you're getting sick. Though, the loss in wages today will prompt me to cook food for lunch for the next week and a half. This will help in my efforts to boycott the workplace's cafe.
A Guild isn't a guild without members. Here
are the three Lollipoppers together. On a totally unrelated note.. I witnessed this
(and subsequently took part in) today while playing JT's Blocks.
Work was definitely crazy today. A whole performance of the Wizard of Oz
done in less than 3 minutes. I was an honorary member
of the Guild. Everyone
had an excellent time and I'm betting we won the pizza party this year. :)
They're going totally crazy at work getting things ready for The Wizard of Oz. This is all very silly. I'm almost considering calling in sick tomorrow, but I won't because then I'll be leaving Denise to fend for herself. Ugh. We're supposed to not spend a whole lot of time on this, nor waste company resources.. yet I'm not sure if the entire department (Web team aside) worked 8 hours combined today! I can't wait until it's over. I'm one of the Lollipop Guilders.
Nothing new or exciting to report on. Work's been pretty low-key. I've been playing a lot of Flash games making myself excited to get MX at home. Soon. We're preparing for Halloween here at work.. it's taken a lot more time and energy than I think should be applied to something that isn't very productive.. but, whatever. If we win, we get a pizza party. I'm not interested. No new links to share either.
SO! This f-ing thing pops up at work while I'm trying to find pictures for a new haircut. I freaked out, closed all the windows, cleared my cache and history, and rebooted my machine.. all the while my heart is racing and my face is turning red. So yea, there might have been some links to porno sites on the pages with girls and their short hair, but hell, I wasn't looking at that! So I get home and "reproduce the problem" and see that I freaked out over some lame program that cleans off your hard drive so your "boss, family, mom, dad, husband, wife" doesn't know what you've been looking at. When did we all of a sudden get so untrustworthy? Who the f*ck cares what I look at on my computer? At least it's not porn!